I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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