The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
