no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
