3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
