Don't you send me to vm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
