sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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