a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
