i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
