My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
