I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to have your abortion
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
