sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we're so committed to being not committed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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