Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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