so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
