So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize