new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize