I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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