What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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