piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to sanitize my soul.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
