haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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