____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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