did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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