I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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