u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
