No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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