i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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