YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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