She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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