In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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