you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
