I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
