i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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