Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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