so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
