u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
