We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
