the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
