yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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