i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
