she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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