yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You're my little dorito
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
