Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
