Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
