okay pat passed out under dana's car
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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