Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
