Do you still have your period?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
