so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
