Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
