He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
