I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
