After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
