if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
