So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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