It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
