it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
