do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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