Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
