I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
the raccoons are back...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
