Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
