I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
