It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize