Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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