he thought i was a dude.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize