i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dear god my vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
