I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
