I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel great
I just peed on a car
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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