We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
