I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
