hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
