So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
