hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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