Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
